The Sweet Spot!

Oh my, I’ve been gone from here for a while, haven’t I? Sometimes its hard to find things to write about when all is well.

And it has, been, for the most part.

In February, after my first fill, I had some issues with my band – at Winter Fire, I got a dumpling stuck in it. Holy. Fucking. Shit. It HURT. And it was embarrassing – I was eating in the lobby of the event, and I was a) eating too fast and b) eating a food I hadn’t tried since the fill.

See, I had brought with me food I knew I could eat. Soft cheese wedges, crackers, Optifast shakes, things like that. But I fell into the temptation of Washington D.C.’s Chinatown, and I had a dumplings. I think I managed 2 and 1/2 before it happened, and it sent me running to the nearest trash can. I couldn’t even make it to the bathroom to try and hack the damn thing up in private.

Oh my god did it hurt. But, I got through it with the help of wonderful friends, and a very cute massage therapist who did some pressure points that made some of the nauseous feeling go away…and there’s much to be said about the healing powers in the hands of a pretty boy!

Anyway, since then, I’ve done much much better. Nothing has gotten stuck, and I’m much better about how I eat what I eat. Slowly and with much chewing! Even things that give me a problem once, I find I can eat again if I try harder.

Case in point – I was picking up food with a friend quick before a play.  We stopped at a deli, and I figured I’d get 1/4lbs of roast beef, because it is yummy, and I need the protein. However, I ate it just a bit too fast, and it all came back. So I put what I didn’t eat in my bag.  Later that night, several hours after the play, we had a real dinner, and I got an appetizer, which since I ate it slowly and chewed well, stayed down.

The next night, I was home and decided to try the roast beef. I think it also might have been a tad on the dry side as well, so I put a tiny bit of mayo on it, and ate it for dinner, and aha! It worked! Slow and thorough is the key.

I do occasionally ‘froth’, which is when something doesn’t sit well and comes back up. My biggest problem has become with that last bite – one bite too much that just don’t fit. Even that, however, is starting to fade away. I’ve gotten to know my body much better, and I’m learning what my limits are. It all takes time.

However, a great thing happened during my second fill. I’ve reached my ’sweet spot’ in regards to the level of fluid in my band.

After surgery, I had 4cc’s in the band, preloaded. During my first fill, the PA put 1cc in, bringing me up to a total of 5cc’s, in a band that’s maximum capacity is 10cc’s.

During my second fill, he once again gave me a single cc, totaling six. However, when I went to drink water after he finished, to see how it went, it would not go through the hole in the band, and was sitting in my pouch and my esophagus. Ick.  He quickly took out all the fluid, so the water would go down, and then put 5.5cc’s back in, so see how that would go.

Not so good, it seems. .5 of a cc makes a difference, and this time, I coughed the water back out when I tried to drink again. Not fun, but I guess he’s used to it – he danced away from the sink right quick.  So we left my band at 5cc’s, and thankfully, he didn’t charge me for the visit (It would have been $100, out of pocket. Yuk.)

It seems I’ve reached the tightest place my band can go right now. I’m consistently loosing weight, feeling full and feeling good. I’m due back in a few weeks for a check up, but I think it might stay this way for a while, perhaps a few more months. Who knows – I might have just reached the point where my band can’t take anymore. It doesn’t matter, as long as I’m feeling good, and losing the weight.

At the moment, I’m down to 220.4lbs – I started at 264lbs. I’m down almost 44lbs!! I haven’t been 220lbs in YEARS. This is fucking awesome. Stockings fit. Fishnets fit. (Granted, I’m still in the ‘Queen’ size, but its much better to be in Q than Q2 or more! Much easier stocking shopping!) I’m taking my pants and skirts in at the waist, as even some of the new pants I bought (Avenue size 18 boot cut jeans) are getting too big! I’ve been getting lots of my little sister’s hand me down’s, as she’s losing a ton of weight too. I’m starting to catch up to her!

I’m hoping to be down another 10lbs by the end of April if I work hard, and maybe another 10 at the end of May. I figure, if I can get to 200lbs by June, I’ll buy myself a bathing suit. A goddamn bikini! Maybe this one – I like it. Hey, anyone want to buy a poor soon to be not fat girl her first bikini? I’ve never had one before.

I also really really want to be able to buy and wear this costume for Halloween! But that’s a far off goal – I’m not looking past June right now. Just a little bit at a time.

But yeah, I’m thinking 10lbs a month is reasonable. Though I need to start doing more than just walking soon. I’d really like to learn either belly dancing, or savate. I’m leaning more towards savate if I can find somewhere that teaches it in NYC, and if I, you know, get a job so that I can pay for it. I like the idea of doing something that will both help me get fit, and give me some self-defense skills, considering I wander around late at night by myself.

Anywho, I’ve got just a bit over 90lbs left to go to get to my goal of 130lbs. At this rate, I’ll get there sometime around January, February 2010. Not bad, not bad at all.

Its so much fun, my new body. I love dressing up again. I always found it harder to dress when I was limited to fat chick clothing stores. Plus, when I was big, I’d always feel very blah and not interested in being creative. I’ve decided that now I’m gonna dress however I goddamn well want to, the way I used to dress back in the day. Sometimes I was classy, and sometimes I was trashy, but I was always having fun. I had lots of options.

I made a skirt for myself out of a pair of old fat jeans – its a super tight, super hot pencil skirt. Fucking awesome. I’m turning another pair of fat jeans into a purse. I’ve already got this cute cow printed material all ready to be used as a liner. I have a shirt from my old mortuary science school program that I want to work in there somehow. We’ll see how that works, lol.

Anywho, that’s all for now – hopefully I’ll be better about updating in the future – this was far too long!